When it Hurts

Isn't she just about the cutest 17 month old you have ever seen? This is our granddaughter, Sarah Grace, who is visiting us with her parents right now. We just love having her around and sharing in the joy of watching her grow and learn new things daily. Sarah lives in China, that's right, CHINA, the country on the other side of the world! We visited her there when she was just a few months old and she looked like this... Now Sarah she is in Connecticut and has a developing personality, an expanding vocabulary, an inquisitive mind and a wonderful smile.
So perhaps you can understand one of the things that made it so tough to get word on Saturday of last week that a very dear friend and pastoral colleague was in the last stages of his year long struggle with pancreatic cancer. I knew immediately that I needed to go and see him. But doing so would take some effort since I was working Saturday evening and had to be back for work Monday morning at 7:30am. I wanted to go to see Mike, and his wife Debbie. But I was scheduled to lead worship at our church on Sunday morning. I wanted to thank Mike for his friendship and encouragement and for his being an example of a caring pastor, devoted husband, loving father and faithful friend. But my granddaughter is only going to be with us a little while longer and I didn't want to give up a day with her, showing her off at church, playing with her, hearing her parents relay stories of her exploits. It hurt to know that Mike's end was coming so quickly and we had only spoken on the phone twice since I found out about his cancer.


I was made painfully aware that at times we must all make tough choices about how we will use our time, prioritize our activities, decide what will be left undone. For me, I had learned this lesson many years ago while a pastor in Tampa, FL. I had sensed I needed to go say thank you to a man who had mentored me but instead I had been overwhelmed by the tyranny of the urgent and three days later he was dead. He died of lukemia. I told the Lord and myself that whenever I sensed His prompting from then on, I would yield to the still small voice of the Holy Spirit. That voice spoke to me again on Saturday.


I was able to arrange for someone to lead worship at church on Sunday. My wife agreed to keep me company on the 600 mile roundtrip. My son and his wife gave me their blessing to go see my friend. And at 6:00am Sunday morning we left our home in Connecticut and drove to Morrill, ME where we were able to sit and visit with Mike and Debbie and their son Chad in their living room. Mike was in a hospital bed, heavily sedated but aware. I was able to thank him for his friendship and example, for his encouragement and challenge. We spoke of his faith, his hope, his trust and his readiness for this struggle to be over. Barb was able to renew her friendship with Debbie and listen to a concerned wife shared information with a nurse. We were able to watch some of the British Open and joke about Mike's golf game. And we were able to pray, thanking God for the chance to say goodbye and making plans to meet again in God's Kingdom. Then it was time to say goodbye and begin the return trip to Connecticut. Mike's other son Shane was flying in from New Mexico later that day and the family would all be together again. Barb and I made it home at 10:30pm, a 16 and 1/2 hour day.


Today I got a call and learned that Mike had died at 2:00pm this afternoon, his family by his side. I am so glad I listened to the still small voice. I am so glad I got to see Mike and thank him and say goodbye. I am so glad we could pray together, laugh together, cry together. Sure it hurts, but I'm glad I don't have to wonder how it would feel if I didn't go see my friend.